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Hey there.
First of all, I need to clear up some things.
1. This is not a story but I had no idea where to sort this - whatever it is.
2. I guess this will be some kind of a blog. I imagined that as a place where I could write my thoughts, like a diary or something.
3. I don't expect any feedback of you. I just want someone to listen at me, but I would be really happy if you would let me know that you are reading this. You can also leave like some kind of a message or an advice if you want to.
4. I'm going to write in English because it is easier to express my feelings in English than in Slovene.
5. I'm going to stay anonymous because I don't want anyone to find out my identity.
6. Please don't promote your themes here, you have got special themes for that.
See u later
xx r
10. marec 2015
Okay, here we go.
It is 01:54 o'clock and I'm sitting behind my macbook and trying to explain how do I feel into a blog who probably is no one going to read anyway, but fuck it, let's try.
I feel like writing about society and friends today.
I'm so sick of everything and everyone around me. I'm ashamed to say so, but I'm even tired of my friends. I'm going to define especially about my two best friends. Not like it's their fault, they haven't changed at all, but I'm so tired of them talking bullshit behind each others backs and then suddenly being best friends when they see each other. I'm tired of them lying into my face. I'm tired of them making fun of my flaws. It hurts, okay? I don't show it, but on the inside it fucking hurts. You think that I don't know my flaws? Oh yes I do. I know each one. And you don't have to point them out and make fun of them because I know them. I'm tired of them taking advantage of me. I'm tired of always being here for them when they need me and always being alone when I need them. But they don't see any of those things! They think we have a great friendship because they don't know how do I feel about them making fun of my flaws, taking advantage of me and so on! All they care about is how they feel in our friendship. And as long as I do anything they want to our friendship will be great, and if I don't want to do it, they will start complaining about how much have they done for me and that I don't want do anything for them. But, if I would stop doing basically everything they want for them they would nearly die, and me? The only thing that would change in my life would be that I would have more time for myself, which I now spend to do stuff they should do.
And I don't do anything about it. Why? Because I don't want to end up alone. It's not like they help me with anything but they are my best friends and if I leave them, then I'm alone.
10. marec 2015
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